Post 15 – Pursuing me
Nothing further happened with Seth during our first painting session at his house. After a few moments of sitting closely together on the floor, critiquing his painting, anxiety took over my feelings of arousal. My gut told me to keep a good distance from him, and so I listened. We painted for another hour; me at the counter and Seth on the floor.
Weeks passed and we were spending more time together, mostly on the weekend. My studio was bigger than his (and more organized, clean and bright!) so we painted mostly at my place.
I reflected on the feelings I experienced, sitting intimately with Seth on the floor, and didn’t want that to happen again. No good can come out of me thinking romantically of a man who isn’t my husband. I was hanging out with Seth to paint, nothing more!
The first time Seth came over, I introduced him to Myles and my kids. After a short discussion between the two men, Myles rounded up the kids and took them over to his parents for the afternoon. Only a few times when Seth came over did Myles and the kids stay in the house, which was fine with me.
I cannot properly express into words the excitement I felt to finally have company while painting. Painting is such a lonely hobby! Seth and I provided guidance and feedback to each other through every step of the painting process. I was learning so much from him, applying new techniques and expanding my abilities. Not only did Seth give me companionship, he also gave me confidence.
With Seth’s support and encouragement, I was beginning to think that perhaps a career in art was possible. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was moving in the right direction.
I was self-assured, grounded and fulfilled.
Seth continued texting me, more frequently after each painting session. Soon he was texting me four to five times a day. He texted about everything! Every tedious thing he was doing during the day, he shared with me. He told me when he was going into meetings at work, what he was having for lunch, when he was going to the gym and the type of workout he did. It was way too much! Yet, I was flattered to receive the attention.
I told Myles one day that Seth was bombarding me with text messages. I read some of Seth’s texts to him. Myles found it strange and suggested that I speak with him about it. It wasn’t easy, but I mustered up the courage to ask Seth to limit his texts. I gave him the excuse that it was interrupting my day at work. He apologized and said he would be more mindful.
After a couple of days, he returned to his usual texting of four to five times per day. It had to stop! I made the decision that I would have a serious conversation with him at our next painting session. I was going to tell him straight up that he needed to stop!
The day before our next session his texts took an interesting turn…
Seth started flirting.
He asked me to give him a massage after his workout at the gym to help “loosen his muscles”. Then he described the different parts of his body where he wanted the massage. He even offered to give me a massage in return.
If I was unsure before, it was clear to me now that he was pursuing me!
I was conflicted! While I didn’t want to develop feelings for him, I wanted a taste of sweet passion in my life.
But I was married! He was married! Why did he sit so close to me that day, breathing “sexy breath” on my neck? And now, sending me this flirty text?
I was angry with him! All I wanted was a painting partner! I was annoyed…and yet, I liked that he was flirting with me.
I didn’t want to like it!
How should I reply? The best thing to do was to stop replying, specifically to the intimate messages. Which I did.
Unfortunately, Seth was persistent. He was giving me so much attention! He made me feel important and it felt good! I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t want to give up that feeling.